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A Post-Soviet Wrecking Machine...
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A short update:

I've been in the Fort Sill Warrior Transition Unit since April of 2012.  Apparently, my PTSD was so bad that USAREC couldn't use me after 2 hospitalizations, and now the Army can't use me anymore, either.  I started my Medical Evaluation Board in January, and will get the paperwork telling me how much the Army and VA think my life is worth on monday.  What started with a damn near suicide, and ended with alcohol fueled self destructive behavior is now going to end with a medical retirement, a pittance of money each month, and an empty hole of self-worth to refill.  I have mad plans though!  Doesn't everyone?  My wife and I are expecting a child in February, I have a chance to work overseas making mad bank, if I choose to take it, and shit, who knows what else.  I might even be able to find a 2nd shift job at a gas station with my qualifications!  Hopefully I can make things happen, raise this kid right, and get my shit together, all while trying to figure out how to be a gunsmith at some point in my life.  I figure I've got about 40 years to make my dreams come true.
12th-Jan-2012 07:42 pm - Simple test

Should be returning from the dead

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.

12th-Oct-2011 01:16 pm - Suicide is painless….

However, suicidal ideations isn’t.

It has been a loooooong while since I’ve posted.  It’s not that I don’t care, it is that I had zero motivation.  I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past n months, n, of course being the number of months since my last coherent post.  The most important thing I’ve learned is that if anyone is responsible for me and my mental well-being, it is me.  I can’t bitch too hard, though.  Since my month of “horrible”, I’ve managed to finally realize what the only activity I can really do that keeps me level, procure a few different new-to-me firearms without changing the total number in my house, and confirm a whole lot of paranoia about my current chain of command.  I’ll be back to my old-school picture taking Boris shortly.  I just wanted to throw some vagueness  out there.

I started this thing to share photos and experiences from my life.  I really did.  I also never meant for this to be a gripe board, because that isn’t something that draws viewers, nor is it really that productive.   But, as one can plainly see, I’ve not been posting all that much since I have left Germany.  This new gig as a recruiter sucks.  I am basically a telemarketer for the Army.  I used to love singing praises of my beloved job, but the attitude of “get them however you can” isn’t doing much for my morale.  To make things worse, my last paycheck was $18.66.  Why?  Because of a screw-up where I got grossly overpaid for TDY that occurred over the beginning of 2010.  I know the Army wants their money back, hell, I don’t blame them, but make it easy to figure out what is owed and how to pay it back in installments, instead of taking a huge chunk of a soldier’s paycheck.  But you know, this is the sixth time my pay has been massively messed up, so I’m pretty sure that I am not going to give the next 11 years after this contract is up to these guys.  Sorry, but if you can’t pay soldiers on time and correctly, soldiers won’t want to work.


The proverbial icing on the cake is a change in USAREC policy that affects me as a new recruiter.  If I don’t make standard of recruiting goals, and my BN decides that I’m not cut out to be a recruiter, I am sent back to my MOS.  Sounds good right?  Well, two months ago, that is all that would happen to me.  With the new policy, not only am I sent back to my MOS, but I am sent there with a “relief for cause NCOER”.  Thus, ending any chance to fast track to E7, as the E7 board looks at your last 5 NCOERs, which are annual reports.  Keep in mind, I did *not* volunteer for this job.  I was pulled from my MOS and told that I *would* do this job for 3 years.  Now, I know that re-enlisting means that the Army can stick you anywhere, but a job that requires outgoing, highly competitive people is not a job where  you just randomly pick people for.  This should be a volunteer only job, with incentives to get people into it, so it truly is on the individual that *volunteered* for the job to not get a career killer. 


19th-Nov-2010 01:24 am - Really? Fuckin really?

So, our main instructor just got quarters because he has pinkeye (fuckin eeewwww) and we’ve had a couple “subs” since that’s happened.  One of them, SFC “speaks with a NY accent”, told us that since we’ve all passed the week 2 test, there’s nothing else in the next 2-3 weeks that will keep us from becoming qualified recruiters.  So…. Basically, they’re wasting taxpayer dollars to keep us here and push us through countless fucking exercises until our graduation date, just so we can be told when we get to our stations (or in my case, already be told) to forget everything but the legal stuff.  By crom, I hate my life.

12th-Nov-2010 07:39 pm - 3 week AAR.


My strengths:  My ability to pass tests with 90% or higher without actually paying attention to this damn school.  My strange ability to swallow my anger and contempt for E7 instructors that have never deployed in their careers.

My weaknesses: Inability to keep my cool and my mouth shout during a barrage of “what if the applicant has a genital wart and two traffic tickets” type questions.  My lack of ability to smile and nod when I’m continually greeted by the scores of people who pass me in the hallways that I don’t know, have no desire to know, and out rank me by tax brackets worth of pay grades.

Seriously, though.  I am *really* trying to keep a positive attitude about this school.  It is difficult, though, because 1) I have no desire to be a recruiter, and 2) this school causes me to mix with people of other MOSs and *gasp*, genders.  I’m not used to working around females.  It isn’t that I don’t like females, or don’t think they belong in my Army.  But, I’m a grunt.  I *never* work with females.  *Never*.  So, keeping my mouth shut with the normal foul language that pours out of my mind is one of the biggest challenges of this school. 

I’ve got a month to go, and we’re breaking down into our “small groups” on Monday so as to start training on how to make phone calls, approach people, and do the real meat n’ taters part of this job.  My small group has the ONE instructor that has deployed, so I might keep may sanity.  I’m honestly just wanting to get this damn school over with so I can get back home to the ol’ lady.  Between schools and field time, I’ve spent almost half of this year away from home, with little to show for it.

My orders for recruiting school said to report NLT 1700 on 25OCT.  My buddy, who has been at the school for the past 3 weeks, also had orders that stated the “NLT 1700” bit.  He showed up at 1700, and got reamed for not showing up at 0600.  Based off of that, I showed up at 0600 this morning, and found out that my class has a *real* report time of 1700.  Not quite a FML moment, but an odd time, none the less.  Note to USAREC: get your information straight on your website and automatically e-mailed memos.  Three different building numbers for the billeting (temp housing) office makes a dumb goon drive around Ft. Jackson for two hours trying to figure out where to live.

And, no one is back yet. I have no keys, so I get to sit in the parking lot. Thank you for paying your taxes.
21st-Oct-2010 04:02 pm - quick update
I leave for Fort Jackson, SC tomorrow IOT attend the Army's recruiting school. I've been in Oklahoma City for the past 2 weeks getting settled in to my new home. Further updates to follow.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

5th-Sep-2010 01:58 pm - Last walk around.

I have less than 48 hours left in Germany.  If I had been leaving immediately after my first deployment, or even just after the last one, I would’ve been sad.  Other circumstances, plus the fact that I *really* need to get on American soil have changed my feelings about this country.  All things considered, I did enjoy most of my time here.  Although I never did make it into the former East Germany, I managed to travel quite frequently, and I’ll always have fond memories of that, especially Bavaria.  I wandered around post today, taking some pictures.  Most of them, due to the fact that they’re taken outside and show specific buildings, I can’t post.  I will, however, post the ones that I don’t feel pose any OPSEC threat.

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